Five Ways to Withstand Unwanted Wedding Advice
Everyone is going to have opinions about your wedding day. So just get ready. People you have never met, who one way or another find out you are getting married, will be giving you unsolicited advice. It will happen in the office, the elevator, and even the bathroom. And some of these random people will be alarmingly persistent. Here are some tips for managing the opinions of others.
Be polite, but make no excuses
When you get some unsolicited advice, be polite. Just because someone has a different opinion than you does not mean that you have to go to war about it. Even if they want to fight about their views, you are not required to join the argument. Let that random lady in line at the grocery store argue with herself. You do not need to justify the choices you make about your wedding. Because it’s YOUR wedding. Just listen to what they have to say, then move the conversation or yourself elsewhere. No need to make excuses about your choices. Be polite and move along.
Ignore people who aren’t your people
If you fret over every single piece of advice you receive, you will lose your mind or ruin your wedding. Random people off the street do not get to have an opinion about your big day. They may get very upset about the fact that you are disregarding them, but that is not your problem. If the next-door neighbor gets her feelings hurt because you are not changing your wedding for her, she has bigger problems than you could ever solve. Just give it up. The only people who should get a say about your big day are people you care about and who care about you, most importantly your partner. If they aren’t people you would ask for advice, ignore their unsolicited advice.
Remember what is most important
If you find that it is difficult to ignore the advice of the randos, go back to your list of most important wedding things. When making difficult decisions, always refer to this list. I can guarantee you that “pleasing random people” is not on that list. This list contains the only things you need worry about, such as your guest list and wedding party attire. The librarian who told you not to do a first look is not on the list, so stop worrying about her. The random people that are fantasizing about your big day do not deserve the same amount of your attention as your most important things. Refocus your mind on these important things instead.
Seek affirmation from your people
When you find yourself worrying over the opinions of others, turn to your people. There are people in your life who want you to have everything you ever dreamed of having on your big day. Track down these people and ask for their support. Affirmation from the friends and family who love you will go a lot farther than the opinions of the pushy office gossips. Do not be afraid to rely on the people who love you. They want to be able to defend you from those who try to live out their own personal fantasies on one of the most important days in your life. Seek their support.
Give affirmation to yourself
Even more effective than the affirmation of others is the affirmation that you can give yourself. This applies to all situations in life, but especially in regard to your wedding. It is an excellent skill to be able to be your own support regarding the choices you have made about your big day. Your friends and family can encourage you all the day long, but if you doubt yourself it will do no good. It’s important that you believe in your own decisions. Identify any thoughts that are making you feel doubtful or discouraged, and replace them with encouraging, helpful self-talk. This is your most powerful defense against the opinions and unsolicited advice of others.
More Tips To Ensure Your Wedding Goes Smoothly:
Ready to get started?
Sometimes people have questions about starting therapy. Others have concerns about whether or not therapy is right for them. If you need any information, or if you are ready to get to work, feel free to contact me at any time! I would love to speak with you.